TL;DR: Austin and I are in the midsts of a pen-pal project. We give each other prompts, then write posts, alternating each week. It’s a lot of fun, sometimes.
Hello, Austin. Thank you for finally submitting your prompt. It took a while, but you have proven that even a half dead horse can eventually drag itself across the finish line. For that, I commend you. But let's not let it happen again. As my CREATIVE PARTNER, I need more. I need to be satisfied. I need to feel cared for, thought of. When responses are delivered late, I feel angsty and dejected. I feel like you don't want to touch tips as much as I want to touch tips, and that deeply saddens me. But I digress, for I do not wish to waste my precious word count on book keeping. Instead, I wish to write meaningfully!
However, before I begin in earnest, I have one last note. For those who haven't had the pleasure to read Austin James' latest, and tardiest, text. Check it out, then come back here and take note of how much better my writing is. In my heart, I feel this is very important distinction to make.
Anyway, with all that out of the way, let's get down to it. This week's prompt, which I am responding to without delay, goes like this:
The fact that the modern age has a dearth of genius is undeniable. We of course have your own tremendous and inscrutable mind, but ZEEBO D. GEEBO seems to be the exception that proves the rule. Where is our Nietzsche? Our Tolstoys and Woolfs? Curies and Lovelaces? What has caused the death of the genius?
First, I appreciate the kind words. It cannot be understated how smart, talented and unique I truly am. Any time my genius can be acknowledged is a very good time in my estimation. That being said, it is lonely at the top, but the loneliness is a cross I'm willing to bear for the sake of Art and the advancement of society. Maybe one day it will rub off on you, Austin. For my sanity, I hope it is one day soon.
What has caused the death of the genius?
Being a genius, orbiting in genius circles, inculcated in genius culture, this question comes up rather often, so it's not the first time I've mulled it over. However, for the uninitiated, it may be useful to define what a genius even is (if these first few paragraphs have not made it evident enough), just so we're all on the same page with what we're talking about.
A genius, as defined by the one true and always honest source that is Wikipedia, is a characteristic of original and exceptional insight in the performance of some art or endeavor that surpasses expectations, sets new standards for the future, establishes better methods of operation, or remains outside the capabilities of competitors. In ancient Rome, genius was the guiding spirit of a person, family, or place. The noun is related to the Latin verbs “gignere” and “generare”, which roughly translates 'to beget', 'to generate', 'to procreate'.
Simply put, a genius is nothing more than someone who creates what is new and unimaginable, who opens up a door where others only saw a wall, a flat surface without a knob or hinges. Whether geniuses are born or raised, fated or selected is still a matter of great debate, even in my circles. What is known, however, is that when someone is a genius their brain, much like the gavaged liver of a succulent duck, develops a rich, buttery and delicate flavor profile that is unlike the brain of an ordinary person. The taste is supposed to be exquisite, unparalleled to any other texture known to man. This fact about geniuses, though lesser known, is absolutely true.
The unfortunate corollary is that much like how the ivory tusks of an elephant make it more susceptible to poachers, so too does the brain of a genius. Despite what you think you know, it is an indisputable fact that geniuses are hunted for their brains. Therefore, the death of genius can be laid at the foot of wealthy cannibals who harvest genius brains for their extravagant yet esoteric house parties. These sick individuals would rather impress their elite friends in what amounts to a culinary big dick contest than allow geniuses to run free and enrich the world. Though at first this claim may seem outlandish, I have the receipts to back it up.
We tend to think of cannibalism as something performed by the most depraved and barbaric of our species. Civilized people would only do such a thing in a life or death situation, like in the case of the Donner Party for instance. But socially acceptable cannibalism is something that's come in and out of favor over the ages. Records can be found in ancient cave paintings, accounts kept by dark age priests and new world explorers. Undoubtedly, it's something that exists in the human mind, in the black shadow of our species' psyche. In the modern world, this impulse has been kept at bay; however, there is one man who is more responsible for normalizing cannibalism than anyone else. He is the award-winning chef, Manchego Pindeho.
Pindeho is a highly decorated and polarizing figure in the culinary world. He first made a name for himself in Barcelona, at his restaurant ZU, which was known for serving rare and exotic animals. The restaurant received a Michelin star before being shut down by the World Wildlife Foundation for their unyielding support of poachers. Most chefs would have been satisfied with what they had achieved, but not Pindeho. He wanted to push the envelope even farther, to really ruffle feathers and start controversy.
At his next restaurant, ZU2, which opened across the street, he was able to accomplish this by serving food that was made from human biomass. Most notable from this menu was a crème brulee made from breast milk as well as the candles in the restaurant, which were all made in house, from ear wax. This restaurant achieved two Michelin stars and made quite the stir with the fine dining community. Some were engrossed, others grossed out. For years, reservations were some of the hardest to get in the world. However, this restaurant was also eventually closed down due to poor working conditions for the waxers and milkers, who were kept illegally in the basement of the restaurant, forced to work against their wills, unable to leave even if they wanted to, for Pindeho had their passports.
When reality came to light, Pindeho was charged, but because he was a national icon by this point he only got a mere slap on the wrist, some community service and a laughable probation. For a while, he was the talk of the town, the man who could get away with anything. Two camps formed. There were those who hated him and those who loved him.
Both camps, however, couldn't live without him, which was unfortunate because once Pindeho's trial was over he disappeared from public life. The conversation changed from controversy to speculation. Everyone wanted to know: what was Pindeho planning next? How would he achieve his third Micheline star? On the great chef's end, there was only silence. Months turned to years. There was no sign of Pindeho. It was like he had disappeared into the ether, dust in the wind never to be seen again. Another great artist as causality, someone who never reaches their true potential.
Until one day, without warning or pretense, he appears in a new picture with Bill Gates. The two men are standing together, arm in arm, smiling like old friends. The backdrop is undoubtedly one of Bill's numerous vineyards. The image sends the culinary world into a frenzy. It's like the return of Christ. Sinners repent and non-believers throw themselves before the altar. Pindeho is back. The old camps reform, and though they disagree they find common ground in the fact that there is once again magic in the world.
A few days later, there's another drop. This time it's with Jeffrey Bezos, on his yacht. The backdrop is a gorgeous cliff side against the sparkling Mediterranean sea, complete with sunbathing babes and dolphins breaching in the distance. Two days later, he's in a crystal palace with a Saudi prince, then on a scenic rooftop with the prime minister of New Zealand. It's like this for a while. New pictures are posted every few days. Each time with someone more famous, rich or powerful.
Blogs become obsessed, trying to make sense of the bizarre spectacle. Most of the public thinks that the whole thing is a PR stunt in order for Pindeho to gain attention before revealing his next restaurant, the fabled ZU3, but others are not so convinced. They are skeptical of Pindeho's motives and are filled with the uncanny feeling that the famous chef is part of a nefarious plot. Their desire for the truth is insatiable and they're compelled to look deeper.
With the assistance of autism and Adderall, the truth is eventually revealed. A lesser known parapolitical podcast host breaks the story first. The podcast features a guest who claims to have attended a party where Pindeho was the chef. The guest reports it was an intimate setting at a private estate. No more than fifteen souls saddled around a long, elegant horseshoe bar, with the chef at the center, preparing each dish with an expertise that was uncommon. She confirmed that the chef was charming and very likable. He made jokes and casual conversation with everyone, though there was something odd, almost sinister about him, something that the guest couldn't quite put her finger on but claimed there was a palpable feeling she couldn't escape.
Everything was delicious until it came to the main course. According to this guest, who used a pseudonym on the podcast and had nothing to gain, Pindeho introduced the main course as “Cerebro del genio.” At first, the party thought it was a joke. But then the chef returned from the fridge with what appeared to be a human brain. He then explained the virtues of the genius brain compared to normal brains. As he butchered the organ, he spoke eloquently about how the number of connections in the cortex increase the taste, how the size of the parietal lobe adds fats and salts and how it can be accompanied by a blackberry compote to achieve the best flavors. Pindeho even claimed that because the genius brain was sourced from India there would be a slight hint of cumin, which would only enhance the overall flavor profile. He also stated that other parts of the body would be used to make curry wurst and lavender incense.
This was the dog whistle that researchers needed. Prescriptions were refilled and work vacations taken, for within a week a number of anonymous factions had independently tied Pindeho's recent posts with the famous, rich and powerful to either the abduction of geniuses in the area or the theft of famous, jarred genius brains. In the case of one or two occurrences, it may have just been a coincidence, but researchers were able to piece together upwards of twenty such “coincidences.” These events have left this writer with more than enough reason to purchase a large caliber weapon.
Besides the evidence laid out before you, I wish to deposit one last anecdotal morsel. This comes from a genius friend of mine, a mathematician. One night, he was walking from his on-campus office to his just-off-campus house. It was a short walk, no longer than ten minutes, one he did, and continues to do, regularly. However, this particular night, as he waited to cross a normally desolate intersection, a white van pulled up. Two black-clad assailants popped out and approached him. One had zip ties, the other a knife. Being a genius, my mathematician friend was able to fend off his would-be abductees with little more than a calculator and ballpoint pen. Luckily, he got away, but had he not been so resourceful is fate almost assuredly would involve being consumed.
In conclusion, I think two things can be true at once. I think that there exists an elite group of cannibals who will stop at nothing to acquire genius brains, who are singularly responsible for the dearth of human genius on this planet. I think that fact is both horrifying and terrible. It is my honest belief that no human life should end for the sake of another's sensual pleasure. Especially the life of a genius, which is empirically more valuable than a normal life. What these wealthy cannibals are doing not only destroys human life, but, by denying our society of the geniuses we rightfully deserve, are also destroying our civilization. These shadowy figures are ruthless, ghoulish and sadistic. They care only about themselves, about what they can amass and experience, even if it's at the sake of the planet, its people and resources. That being said, I've had the good fortune of acquiring reservations for ZU3, which opens this summer. I have also recently learned of the scandal that is the missing brain of Richard Feynman. To these matters, all I can say is: bon appétit!
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